Stranded 3: Sauna
by Omega799
Summary: Six contestants compete against each other to see who can stay inside a sauna the longest. The prize is 1,000,000. R&R.
1. Day 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Amanda Show, and have no intention of hurting those who do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: Six contestants, trapped in a sauna: Gnocchi Blokey; Kyle Rostenson (a.k.a. Totally Kyle); Mr. Oldman; Melody; Sternum; and Sheila. They're competing for a million dollars. You know how it goes, but I'll tell you anyway. Anyone who steps out of the sauna will be disqualified. The last one in the sauna wins one million dollars. That's how the game is played on Stranded.

Table:

Gnocchi Blokey

Kyle Rostenson

Mr. Oldman

Melody

Sternum

Sheila

Gnocchi: I am Gnocchi Blokey. I to be winning this contest.

Sheila: Dream on, Italian job! If anyone's gonna win this thing, it'll be ME.

Kyle: Hey, you dudes wanna hear a story?

Sternum: Do I not want to hear a story?

Kyle: Um...okay. Um, one time...I like...entered a contest...to win a million bucks...and I like...got trapped in a sauna...and then I like...told this story...to the other contestants.

Sheila: That's your story?

Kyle: Pretty good, huh?

Sheila: Uh, no.

Melody: I thought it was wonderful.

Kyle: You did?

Melody (dreamy): Yeah.

Romantic music starts. Kyle and Melody stare at each other dreamily.

Sheila: You guys okay?

Sternum: Are they not okay?

Sheila: Shut up before I slam your head against the wall, weirdo!

Mr. Oldman: These children are making me cry!

Sheila: I'll make you cry until your eyes are plaid unless you shut up, old man!

Mr. Oldman: It's Oldman, not old man!

Sheila: That's it! Where's a toilet?! I need to flush a few heads!

Mr. Oldman: Why am I bothering to do this?! I'm retired!

Mr. Oldman runs out the door.

Sheila: One down, four more to go!

Table:

Gnocchi Blokey

Kyle Rostenson

Melody

Sternum

Sheila


	2. Day 5

Narrator: Mr. Oldman is gone. Five contestants remain. Who will win?

Melody: Ready, Kyle?

Kyle: Ready, Melody.

Kyle plays guitar while Melody sings.

Melody:

We're stuck in a sauna together.

Hot and humid is the weather.

It's so hot we only wear underpants

So that we can be of more pleasure.

Kyle plays an awesome guitar solo.

Kyle: That was awesome!

Melody: I'll say!

Kyle: Wanna hear another story?

Melody: Do I ever!

Kyle: Okay. Um...one time...I wrote this like...song...with my girlfriend...whose name is Melody...and I played guitar...while she sang our like...song...and then I like...played a solo.

Melody applauds.

Sheila (groaning): Now I really wish I had a toilet. I feel sick, and I don't think it's because of the humidity.

Gnocchi: Why you be sick, then?

Sternum: Why isn't she sick?

Sheila attempts to strangle Sternum, but feels too sick, and lets him go after a few moments. Sternum dusts himself off.

Sheila: CAN SOMEONE GET ME A BUCKET?!

Gnocchi: I not be seeing you in such pain. I fetch bucket for you.

Gnocchi opens the door, and two guards take him away. Sheila grins, and then turns around to puke.

Table:

Kyle Rostenson

Melody

Sternum

Sheila


	3. Day 12

Narrator: Gnocchi is gone. Four contestants remain. Now it's time to vote someone off.

As Kyle finishes another one of his stories, Sheila writes down a name and holds up her card, which has Kyle's name on it. Melody sees this, quickly and angrily writes a name down, and holds up her card, which has Sheila's name on it. Kyle holds up Sheila's name as well.

Sheila: Sternum, you'll write Melody's name down for me, won't you?

Sternum: Won't I?

Sternum holds up Sheila's name.

Sheila: Why did you do that?

Sternum: You tried to strangle me on day 5. I want to keep my life.

Two guards start to take Sheila away.

Sheila: YOU CAN'T VOTE ME OFF! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! I DESERVE THAT MILLION BUCKS!

Kyle: Another story?

Melody: You know it!

Table:

Kyle Rostenson

Melody

Sternum


	4. Day 20

Narrator: Sheila is gone. Three contestants left. The contestants are becoming desperate. They're hungry, tired, nauseous, hot, and wearing nothing but their underpants.

Kyle: Um (gasp) one time (wheeze) I like (cough) had this like (gasp) dog (wheeze).

Melody: That's (cough) your best one (gasp) yet (wheeze).

Kyle: How are we gonna find food?

Sternum: How are we not gonna find food.

Melody: What does that m--

Sternum: What?

Melody slowly creeps toward Sternum, drooling. Kyle follows. Sternum backs up, and then runs out the door.

Table:

Kyle Rostenson

Melody


	5. Day 26

Narrator: Sternum is gone. Only two contestants remain. And because they made it this far, we decided to turn down the heat a little.

Melody: Ready, Kyle?

Kyle: Ready, Melody.

Melody:

They turned down the heat a little.

And now we're not so--

Kyle's guitar sounds screechy when he plays it.

Melody: What's wrong.

Kyle: My guitar's starting to melt! NOOOOO!

Melody: I'll tell you what. If I win, I'll split the money with you. That way, you can buy a new guitar.

Kyle: Thanks, Melody. So if we split the money, it doesn't matter who goes out first.

Melody: I'll go.

Melody stands up to leave.

Kyle: Wait!

Melody: What is it?

Kyle stands up and smooches Melody before she leaves.

Melody: That felt so good.

Kyle: Totally.

Melody: Thad will be so jealous.

Kyle: Who?

Melody: My ex-boyfriend. We broke up just before I entered this contest.

Kyle: So we're cool?

Melody: Yeah, we're cool.

Melody leaves. The million dollars fall onto Kyle's head, and he celebrates.

Narrator: Kyle wins the million dollars.


End file.
